Looking for Jose for Dummies 2.0

Didn’t like it when people complain they have migraine because I have the sad fate of having just a pathetic headache which is not so fallutin’ as a mayhgreyn. And since mayhgren sounds better, people inflicted with the phenomenon tend to throw the royalties of Britain out of the loo by acting as the bitches of Nottinghill. Dunno what I am talking about, but, my doctor said I have migrain after I almost passed out from my sad headache. And now, I am entitled to act like a bitch. Go ahead, hand the crown over.

Went to work the other day with my new shirt, looking stiff in a coffin coz u dont wanna ruin a good clothe’s moment, would you? Halfway through, there was a twitch. Somewhere between my eyes. Some twitches are good. Not that twitch. I almost passed out. Started to sweat. Went downstairs for some pasta and quezadillas, thinking I was just hungry. The twitch again. Told myself I was going to be okay. Went to the clinic and smiled at the nurse. Damn. I hate to smile when I am dying. After assuring me that I was not hypertensive, she gave a tablet to take.

Told my manager that I was seeing doubles. She asked me how many of her was I seeing. I said four. I forced a smile. She laughed. She told me to take some rest if I couldn’t take it anymore. I went home.

Staggering, I got home, only to find out my key wasn’t working. I buzzed for an hour and nobody answered. Wanted to shout. Somebody came and opened the door. I ran to my bed. Plopped. And slept.

And the doctor said I can say I have migraines now. Haha.

Probably it was the heat that i started to imagine things again, but when i saw a pair of dogs humping just right beside the road, I thought…why the hell am I circumcised? Well, maybe it’s too late to have it all back, i mean the skin but yeah, why the hell am I circumcised? Now that I think about it, I feel abused, betrayed and badly missing a foreskin and I cannot even think of ways to justify the horrible act.

Cannot remember exactly when it happened, or maybe, i choose not to remember it because it was just so degrading to lie flat on a table, numbed in the middle, while two doctors in unwashed scrubs busily dissected me. While at it, they decided to strike a conversation as if we were strangers on an empty bus waiting for the driver to hit something on the road.

Got a girlfriend? No. Not really. But why? What do u mean? Why don’t you have a girlfriend?

His hand goes up, with a threaded jumbo needle in it. I did not feel anything.

I dunno. I never thought about it. Silence. How long will it take for the anesthesia to wear out? Two hours. Will it hurt bad? Not really. Just wear something roomy. Sigh. Scared? Yeah, a bit. I hate being here. It is important. I don’t think so. You won’t go to heaven if you don’t get circumcised. Well, my foreskin isn’t that big to fill the entire heaven, is it? No, it’s not that.

We’re done. That was quick. Just like having a haircut. Except that you don’t shower me with baby powder after the crime. Take this. What is it for? Antibiotics. And some pain reliever. Sigh. Grunt.

I stood up and took a look at the calendar. I remember the date but I’m not telling you. Call me a liar.

Just remember to wash it daily with lukewarm water. Here’s some iodine solution. Might as well drink it all down, I think. No. It can kill you. I don’t care. Will I go to heaven now? Dunno. Ask your pastor. Catholic? No. But my mom forced me to be here.

I cried. You can use it after a month. Wink. Wink. I hate what you did to me. How much? A thousand. Here.

I count the ways to get to heaven. Go to church. Get circumcised. I’m lost.